


I Promise You I Will Learn from My Mistakes

by Schiffsgefangnis



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 16:29:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2116827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schiffsgefangnis/pseuds/Schiffsgefangnis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night they escape from the Survey Corps and rest on the ruined wall at Shiganshina, Bertholdt shows weakness. Reiner is there to comfort the boy he loves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Promise You I Will Learn from My Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> Never ever ever ever think about Reibert and listen to this song at the same time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY9b6jgbNyc

There was darkness and sparkling spots all around them, and Bertholdt was crying. Quiet, private sobs are wrung from his throat, tears sliding down his flushed cheeks, leaving behind trails that told the story of what fell. The droplets falling from his chin darken spots on the fabric of his dirtied navy blue sweater. 

It was the same night they escaped the Survey Corps with Ymir. Exhaustion over took them all, leading to a mutual agreement for sleep. Only one of them managed that goal. Ymir was resting a bit away from them to their right, using her arm as a pillow with her back to them. Her quiet snores let Bertholdt know she was unaware of his weakness. But it wasn't like his weakness was well hidden, anyways. She read them both all too well. Reiner wasn't snoring. Bertholdt didn't have to wonder if he was awake. 

Bertholdt's tears run dry after five minutes of letting a small portion of his gargantuan amount of stress go. He wipes messily at his wet cheeks, sniffling and letting out shaky exhales quietly. He brings his knees closer to his chest and wraps his arms tightly around them in hope of comfort. It doesn't come.

He sits there in silence. The only sounds he hears is his breathing and Ymir's snoring. The stars and moon are bright out, illuminating the crumbled wall they sat atop and the ruins of Shiganshina. Bertholdt can't look over his shoulder for fear his heart would hurt again. He keeps his eyes raised to the endless sky, letting a useless prayer travel through his thoughts. He closes his eyes, head tipped back, and lets out a deep exhale.

Quiet shuffling comes from his left. Bertholdt had gotten up from where he lay beside Reiner to walk a few paces away to cry in moderate privacy. Hearing careful footsteps begin towards him has his eyelids cracking open. His eyes feel so tired and heavy from shedding tears. He averts his exhausted gaze to Reiner once the blond crouches down beside him.

The look in those golden eyes makes Bertholdt feel the urge to comfort. Reiner looked miserable. Bertholdt stares at him silently. Reiner raises a dirty hand and cups it over Bertholdt's tear-stained cheek. Bertholdt continues to look at him blankly. Reiner's mouth opens and he whispers, brow furrowed and expression sorrowful.

“I don't expect you to forgive me. But I do want you to know I'm sorry.”

He shifts closer to Bertholdt, stroking his thumb over his cheek. Bertholdt feels entirely numb inside. He stares at Reiner. Reiner's face tightens, as if he was going to cry too. 

“I'm so sorry, Bertholdt.”

Bertholdt looks at him wordlessly, fingernails digging into the flesh of his calves, arms tightening around his shins. He looks into Reiner's begging eyes, wondering how his own eyes appeared.

“I know,” Bertholdt murmurs, lifting a hand to shakily grab onto the front of Reiner's button up shirt loosely. Bertholdt wants to say more, he wants to say that it won't change anything, his apology that is just stacked atop the others, but he keeps his mouth shut. He watches as Reiner ducks his head down. Once he raises it to look at Bertholdt again, his eyes are wet.

“I haven't stopped loving you,” Reiner whispers, brow knit and mouth trembling slightly once he closes it. Bertholdt nods and leans into the hand holding his cheek.

“I know.”

It hurts Bertholdt seeing a rare tear run down Reiner's woeful face. 

“Do you still love me?” He says this so quietly, his frightened, overflowing golden eyes searching in Bertholdt's. Bertholdt reaches his other hand up to take Reiner's hand that rest over his cheek. He lowers it, until their hands meet the surface of the wall. Bertholdt squeezes Reiner's hand gingerly.

“I do.”

Reiner sniffs and smiles weakly. He nods and shifts closer, squeezing Bertholdt's hand back tightly. He leans in to kiss Bertholdt's lips, his mouth trembling. Bertholdt closes his eyes tiredly and clenches tighter at Reiner's shirt.

Their lips softly move for a moment, Bertholdt tasting tears on Reiner's mouth. A hand rests over his neck. Reiner gives one last purse of his lips before leaning away with a sad look in his eyes and a gentle smile. Bertholdt remains expressionless. 

Without a word, Reiner wraps his strong arms around him and pulls him close. Bertholdt's legs slide out, curling at the knee as he slowly wraps his arms around Reiner's neck. The arms around him squeeze so firmly and desperately it makes Bertholdt's air leave him. He can't help but grab tight fistfuls of Reiner's shirt, eyes squeezed shut and brow furrowed. 

His weakness he was willing to expose to Reiner.

He lets Reiner unrelentingly hold onto him until they both fall asleep with the stars hanging above them.

**Author's Note:**

> esidisi-kars.tumblr.com


End file.
